New Blog

No Pressure, No Diamonds

Hope to see you there!

Harley xx

ByeBye Blog

Hey guys,

I'm closing down this blog. I was going to just delete it on impulse this morning, but I feel like I should explain why first.

This blog is very pink and pretty, but it's not me. I keep myself from posting on anything that wouldn't fit on this blog, and sometimes that happens to be what I most need to write about. Lately I've just been crashing into a huge low; I feel trapped and frustrated in my personal life, completely unattractive, and angry all of the time. I hate feeling like this because it's not my natural state - I think for the most part I'm pretty smiley - but right now I just can't gather the energy to blow away the black clouds, even if the sun is hiding behind them somewhere.

On top of my emotional freefall, I've also been feeling guilty about not having anything to say on this pastel blog of blah. I just feel like it doesn't accurately represent who I am, considering how UNgirly I am. Maybe when I set it up it was more of a reflection of how I'd like to be - simple, uncomplicated, feminine, happy. At the moment though I am feeling like none of the above, and I've started to really resent my poor blameless blog.

So I'm going to start over, see if I can't create a new blog that I can be more open on. Thanks to everybody who followed and commented on this blog, you guys would really make my day. You're wonderful!

I'll see you on the other side!

Love,

Harley xx

Blogger Blight

It's amazing how everyone on the interwebs gets felled by the flu at the same time.

I woke up this morning feeling like death, and I now feel like I badly need one of these:

Those Asians; Always ahead of the game!

Before I got the Head Cold from Hell I was already going through a bit of a low buzz - seems like I started 2011 on the wrong foot and have been off balance ever since. To give you some idea of how badly I kicked off the New Year:

I was woken up suddenly in the middle of the night.

By being puked on.

On my face.

ON AND AROUND MY MOUTH.

Yes, it was gross and no, I have not yet fully recovered from the trauma. Let me tell you, no matter how hard you scrub, the memory of beer-flavored puke on and around your mouth  lives on. Misery.

Anyway. Today was a No Pants Day and I strongly suspect tomorrow will follow on in this style.

You could either say that Lor has converted me or that the Head Cold has won itself a victim (my pants), and both would be somewhat correct.

I think tonight will be an animated movie night!

Open Letter: 2011

Hello 2011,

Please be gentle with me. Just cut me some slack until I get out from under this crazy low.

Yours in hope,

Harley

A Very Merry Unbirthday To Me

I have been a bad blogger of late.

But nobody can scold me because it's my birthday week! FINALLY!

When your birthday falls around Christmas time you somehow feel like you have to wait longer than everybody else, and when it eventually comes around you always feel cheated due to most people forgetting because they can only focus on one special occasion at once and OH MY GOD CHRISTMAS IS IN FIVE DAYS ANDTHEYHAVEN'TDONEALLTHEIRSHOPPINGYET! Disaster. Meanwhile we sad Christmas babies are standing in the corner, going, *cough* "it'smybirthday" *cough*.

Yesterday I turned 24 and, with a heavy heart and a leaden step, trudged into my mid-twenties.

BLERGH.

The day had a not-so-promising start; my cat padded up to my pillow and drooled on my face, and then I had to get up early to go to a funeral.

Things picked up though, as it started to SNOW(!!!) for my birthday and the whole city was transformed into an iced cake of a place. My reaction was of course #childlikejoy and #lovingit, and when I got home I got to cuddle the radiator while I crafted a bit (results here). Later on Scrubs came over and surprised me with a bunch of beautiful flowers (white and purple with complimentary GLITTER!) and a (pink!) hard drive so that I can save all of my super extremely important stuff (photos and music) from my Technology-Related Touch of Death. My brother gave me two huge Toblerones, one white and one milk, and we got pizza!

And then, on top of everything else, I got a snowman cake:

Every single year on my birthday I get an iced novelty cake made of sponge, with layers of buttercream and raspberry jam. It's tradition! This one was suitably Christmassy and went well with the blizzard outside!

Now it's my unbirthday and I'm back to being an unbirthday girl, so I want to wish everybody a very happy unbirthday today, and if it IS actually your birthday then a happy actualbirthday to you!

Someone You Didn't Want To Let Go... - Day Nine

Someone You Didn't Want To Let Go, But Just Drifted

I don't know if I have enough space for all the people this applies to. If I had my way I'd never let anybody go. I am nostalgia personified. However, there are a special few who stick out:

My best friend Bunny, from when I was in school; he got a girlfriend and suddenly I was brutally dumped. Not only would he not introduce me to this girlfriend, when he was with me and she phoned he would tell her he was with "the lads". Ridiculous behaviour, and when I called him out on it he claimed he had no idea why he'd said that. Even though he behaved like a douche towards the end, it makes me sad to think of what a good friend he was up until that point, and I wish it hadn't gone down like that.

My cousin, who I was tight with until his mother died and suddenly it was like a chasm opened between us. Actually there's more to it than that, including an awkward family moment that makes me angry just thinking about it, but the long and short of it is that we went from hanging out all the time and getting on really well to being virtual strangers. And to be honest it was neither of our faults. The fault lies with someone else and it can't be taken back or fixed now so I'm hoping time will heal the drift.

My friend Lion; our dads were the best of friends and we were too. Then her dad died and it was as if it hurt too much to hang out. I wanted to tell her she could share my dad, but that seemed like a paltry consolation. We drifted apart and now we don't really talk. It makes me sad, and sometimes I really miss her.

Thirty Days of Truth

(1) Something you hate about yourself. (2) Something you love about yourself.(3)Something you have to forgive yourself for. (4) Something you have to forgive someone for. (5)Something you hope to do in your life. (6) Something you hope you never have to do. (7)Someone who has made your life worth living. (8) Someone who made your life hell, or treated you like shit. (9) Someone you didn’t want to let go, but just drifted. (10)Someone you need to let go, or wish you didn’t know. (11)Something people seem to compliment you the most on. (12) Something you never get compliments on. (13) A band or artist that has gotten you through some tough ass days. (write a letter.) (14) A hero that has let you down. (letter) (15) Something or someone you couldn’t live without, because you’ve tried living without it. (16)Someone or something you definitely could live without. (17) A book you’ve read that changed your views on something. (18) Your views on gay marriage. (19)What do you think of religion? Or what do you think of politics?(20)views on drugs and alcohol. (21) Your best friend is in a car accident and you two got into a fight an hour before. What do you do? (22) Something you wish you hadn’t done in your life.(23)Something you wish you had done in your life. (24) Make a playlist to someone, and explain why you chose all the songs. (Just post the titles and artists and letter)(25) The reason you believe you’re still alive today. (26) Have you ever thought about giving up on life? If so, when and why? (27) What’s the best thing going for you right now? (28) What if you were pregnant or got someone pregnant, what would you do?(29) Something you hope to change about yourself. And why. (30) A letter to yourself, tell yourself EVERYTHING you love about yourself .

Egypt

It.
Was.
Awesome.

Queen Hatshepsut dressed up as a man

Me hugging a pyramid

Date palms

The Red Pyramid (we went inside!)

Harley on horseback

The Great Pyramid of Giza and some randomer on a camel

Sphinx

Cardog. Everytime we saw him he was chilling out on the roof of a car.

Obelisk

Egypt was the most amazing holiday - we saw everything, I took 456 photos, ate lovely food, horse-rode around the pyramids and went scuba diving (and oh my God it was so cool! It was like being in a fish tank, or like being inside a nature documentary except with no David Attenborough voiceover). So amazing. When I got out my instructor told me I should get my license as soon as I got a chance because I was a 'natural' and of course after that I was so proud of myself that I kept nudging Scrubs and saying 'did you hear that? He said I was a natural' over and over until he probably wanted to wring my neck.

Since it was my first dive EVAH my instructor was practically glued to me (it's one-on-one; Scrubs already has his license so he just swam alongside us) and every so often I'd see something cool and start gurgling into my regulator and laughing to myself like a crazy person and saying stuff like 'wow!', 'Look! LOOK!', 'that is SO COOL!'or 'hello fish!!', which just came out as bubbles, but I couldn't stop myself... and then afterwards when we were getting out of our gear, my instructor was like 'I could hear you, you know, making all sorts of sounds underwater anytime something caught your eye'. And then I was mortified, but it was alright because he seemed like a very enthusiastic type himself so I think he understood.

Horse-riding around the pyramids was also incredible. I have never felt anything like that before. I was practically delirious with freedom once I got over my SHEER TERROR. 


The kid that was our 'guide' (he was about 14 years old) asked if I'd horse-ridden before and I said yes, when I was very young, but never anything over a trot, and I had, you know, riding boots and a helmet and a proper bridle and you know, SOME MEASURE OF SAFETY and he was like "okay, we gallop now. Hold reins with one hand, hold saddle with other. AYEE!" 


...And my horse literally SHOT off into a canter, with me clinging on for dear life. Once he gathered himself into a gallop though, it was completely amazing - so easy! I didn't want to stop. Galloping across that sand with one hand gripping the saddle was one of the most amazing things I've ever felt. It was a total headrush.  I think the fact that I had no idea what I was doing and had zero safety equipment on me was part of the thrill. Nothing like flirting with sudden death to get make those endorphins come out to play!


Now I'm home and the ground is thick with snow outside, and I'm huddled next to a fire while I type this out. I feel like I've been flung headfirst into Christmas, and it is MOTHERFUCKING COLD.


But whatever. I love Christmas! Bring it on!